Agape love is a love that is always patient, kind, not envious, boastful or proud of self. It does not dishonor others, act selfishly, it is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Agape does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1Corinthians 13:4-7)
The more I live my life... I feel incapable of this agape love. I do try to love this way, but eventually find myself somehow secretly expecting something in return, feeling like I want to lose hope, or find it hard to trust somebody. So, I have come to the conclusion, that I cannot do it no matter how hard I try. But, I also find it incapable of anyone I have ever met to obtain this Agape as well. Everyone in my life has at some point let me down, hurt me, or expected favors from me. But I cannot hold it agianst them when I myself struggle and do not want to be judged. This love is modeled by Chirst. We cannot ever be as he was. We can live to and fail. But, I think that our failure is the whole point... He knew we could not do it. That is why he asked Peter three times if he Agaped him. He knew the answer. He knows we cannot as humans love him as much as he loves us.
I heard on the radio the other day a man say, "I cannot brag about how much I love God because I fail him everyday. But I can brag about how he loves me because His love never fails.". This is the point that I realized this concept. Peter did love God. He said he would never deny him, but failed. His love was conditional and changed depeding on circumstance. We cannot honestly say ours doesn't or we are fooling ourselves.
But, the good news is... Christ agapes us no matter how much we try and fail. He is not here to condemn us, but to forgive and save us. We don't have to agape, cause his agape through us can shine through to the world. He is full of grace and mercy. He cut all the strings! No expectations! He just wants you... just as you are.